Rush and Rush Until Life's No Fun

When I think about this past week, the lyrics from the Alabama song come to mind:


I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why.

Jamie's been gone, I've been trying to get my work done, and things have been chaotic.

Ben's eczema flareups have come and gone and come again. He gets dry patches. He gets red patches, but, at least, he's mostly not itching.

We use his prescription shampoo and Cerave cleanser to bathe him daily. We use his steroid cream in the morning on days he needs it. Two or three times a day we use Epicream, a prescription cream, and the rest of the day, it's Cerave with every diaper change. We vacuum his room daily, bathe him daily, try to get the food that he smears off of his face off.

Things have been so hectic. One night just flows into the next. All of this has made me appreciate having Jamie's help. Usually, he stays up with Ben at night and vacuums the rooms and helps (or bathes Ben by himself). I don't think I could do this alone, and I'm glad that I don't have to. I'm a little disappointed that we don't have more family in the area to watch him sometimes, but we do what we can. Some days, like yesterday when I ate Rice Krispie Treat after Rice Krispie Treat and didn't know if I would make it through today, are rough. But, then, so far, every time I've been able to get up and do all of my work, and it has been okay. It will be okay. We will get through the daily routine of cleansing and vacuuming and moisturizing and feeding and changing and watching and nursing and then all over again and again and again until he's walking then driving and we won't remember, or, if we do, we will have romanticized the toughness and the temptation to think How on earth will I do this? Can I make it today? And we will make it because we have to. A little one depends on us.